Government Declares ‘Code Orange’

Earlier today, at the request of leading members of both political parties, the federal government declared the candidacy of Donald Trump to be a major electoral disaster. The declaration comes after a year of steadily mounting damage nationwide. It triggers ‘Code Orange’ and sets in motion the availability of several types of assistance for those affected.

In her official message, FEMA Director Lincoln wrote that ‘Residents throughout the country are strongly advised to get out and vote to prevent this tragedy from spreading any further. This is worst-case scenario for our democracy’, she said, ‘by acting in this way, we want to try to return to normal as soon as possible.’

The declaration met with widespread approval across the country. Governor Franklin (R – Ax) spoke for many of his colleagues when he noted ‘I wish things were different. I really do. But this force is very powerful and unstable. We just don’t know who will be impacted next and we can’t simply evacuate everyone. We must face it head-on.’

Code Orange assistance combines both government and civil society responses. The federal government’s primary duty will simply be to ensure that Americans are not unfairly restricted from voting in the coming months. As for civil society, it’s hoped that media sources and private citizens alike continue to point out the consequences to the nation if the rising levels of hate are not checked.

In a brief statement, President Obama said ‘America has been through trying times in the past. We’ve always managed to persevere. By working together to put country first, we will get through this dark hour to a new, more hopeful dawn.’

(Louisiana, I love you. Y’all take care.)

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